|Julie and Maxx by Dustin Weaver, because sometime I|
feel like my life is split between reality and the Dreamtime.
I mentioned the death of a family friend last week. I'm still reeling from the shock of everything, even as our own life has been consumed with car problems and unexpected bills. It's left a mess in the family budget and a hole in my life.
If anything, a sudden death brings into perspective the hollowness of one's own life. We get so caught up in the ephemeral, we fail to realize everything we truly have on this world. It's a shock to the system that we need to take care of the relationships we have around us, because we never know when they might end.
Honestly, I've been pretty terrible about maintaining friendships over the years. I've let friend after friend slip by the wayside as I focused on my career, my writing, my family or a billion other things. I realize now that may have been the greatest mistake of my adult life, but one not easily remedied. It's the fate of us all to live with some level of regret, but sometimes it's something that can be fixed, sometimes it is not. We will see.
And of course, I'm left with the questions of every solitary artist. Am I wasting my life? Is anything I do actually good? Would anyone even care if I stopped writing tomorrow?
I honestly don't know the answers to those questions, but I've talked about Amanda Palmer's concept of the fraud police before. I've got enough problems in my life without my own self-doubt pulling away the outlet I have to spew my own thoughts and ideas into the world.
I think it's important to remind you and everyone else, Dear Reader, that I like you, am simple a human being. We are all flawed and we all must make do with what God gave us. So be good to one another. Remember those that love you. And live your fullest life.
Even when it seems hard.
I'd love to hear about your hard times and how the creative process helped get you through.
Normal operations resume tomorrow.